Two weeks after being kidnapped Griffin called to see how I was doing. I said, "I was alright", but I knew that I will never be. To end the phone conversation with Griffin I said "Look, I've got to go." After that Griffin asked "Can I call you again?"
I took a deep breath and thought about my answer....
Now it's a little more than a month since I've talked to Griffin. I really don't wish to ever really consider him as a friend. I know that he saved my life, but he also was the one who stole me, and put me through so much danger.
I really don't think I will ever trust anyone again, so I think I'm going to always stick with my guide dog, Phantom and try out some Self Defense lessons. I'll probably learn how to feel what's around me with both my hands. Maybe even learn how to do some punches.
Especially after what..... TJ...almost... did to me. I try not to think about what happened in the kidnapping. I really am starting to rely on Phantom about 70%. Even though he's a guide dog, if he thinks that danger is approaching me, he won't let it get to me.
I think the most thing that I'm really traumatized about is in the car with Roy.
I remember when I thought Roy was a cop so I was telling him everything that I like knew (which was really bad.) As I got into the car I remembered a smell: peppermint chewing tobacco.
That scared me so much so I needed to find a phone. I thought that next to me was a phone, but it wasn't. It was a gun.
Now I remember when: I told Roy, "You make one move and I will shoot you." I did shoot him, but didn't kill him...yet. I screamed at him to get out and he did. After he did, he kept yelling to me like, "Cheyenne, Cheyenne let me in or I'll bleed to death for the love of God."
I didn't let him in, so he started to bang on the windows. He kept switching from side to side of the car. I didn't always know which side he was exactly, but I knew I had to look for a phone. Roy banged harder so I tried to drive away little by little. Roy kept yelling at me and banging on the windows even harder. When I found the phone I dialled 911 and a woman picked up. I told her what was hapening and that I was blind, so she sent out police cars to find me I told her I could hear one of the 3 sirens and soon enough they were coming. During the minute I was talking to her I heard Roy's footsteps get closer and closer. Suddenly Roy s hand twisted around my throat like a steel band. I figured out that I could propel the car in motion, so I did. Roy's hand then let go and I heard this thump, and felt the car go over some kind of hump. I ran over Roy.
Finally the police came, and I got home.I still am going to take self defense classes, because I'm still upset of what happened.
I wonder if I'll ever feel safe again.
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